100 Things Retired Guys Should Avoid - sample reading

#76 AVOID IDLE APPEARANCES

I remember when I was in third grade and my shrewish teacher with the pageboy haircut snuck up from behind, and startled me out of some important daydream by saying in a loud voice, "Ya know, Mr. Becker, idle hands are the devil's workshop."

This was a long time ago, before children were considered people, and lawyers hadn't quite recognized the zillions of dollars to be made by representing kids who had been wronged by adults like my teacher. Nowadays, if a school teacher said that to a kid in public, there'd be a long slim envelope with a law firm's name on it, in the Principal's office by sundown. Be that as it may, the message was - and still is, quite clear. Idling, no matter how old or young you are is considered not only the devil's workshop, but is also seen as counter culture. It's just not tolerated.

The facts are, just like when we are in third grade, as retired guys we have a lot of important daydreaming to do. What most folks don't realize is, daydreaming actually makes quite important and productive contributions to the overall positive well-being of the human race. And this concept isn't confined to third graders and retired guys - although daydreaming at ages between these two groups is usually called "planning."

Now that you are retired and have plenty of free time on your hands, you're going to find that you spend quite a few hours in the daydreaming department. That's okay. Daydreams are good as long as you're not daydreaming about killing your neighbor because he lets his dog bark all the time. That's not a plan. That's a day-nightmare - and of course, fits the bill as the devil's workshop.

Positive daydreaming is a pleasure and also, by-the-way, does include planning - so you should make sure to keep daydreaming on your retired guy "to-do" list. Unfortunately, there's lots of people who don't see it that way. These are folks who look on daydreaming as idling. A waste of good old fashioned productive time. They seem to feel that there's some angelic book keeper up in heaven jotting down everybody's earthly productivity, and daydreaming/idling goes into the negative column. They also seem to feel that daydreamers/idlers are somehow infringing on their self important existence. Like perhaps your idle hours might somehow get transferred to their heavenly account and cause them to have a slightly less than stellar after-life. Hmmm.

To make sure you don't idle their time away, your friends and relatives might begin to cook up dumb busy work projects to fill your idle hours. Watch out for this. They may also play the innuendo game by saying things that are aimed at making you feel guilty. Don't fall for that either.

Here's an idea that might help. Try carrying around a purse. Actually, for guys this is called a "bag." Make sure it's sort of business-like and has lots of little pockets and zippers so it looks official. Add a small notebook or sketch pad and a nice writing pen or drawing pencil. Make sure the pad or notebook has some sketching or writing on it so it looks like you actually use these things for productive planning. Now, whenever you feel the daydreaming mood coming on, simply plop the bag right down next to you, open the pad or notebook, have the pen in plain view and then go ahead and start the daydream or idle hour - as you wish. The illusion of productive planning will work beautifully in throwing the daydream nay-sayers off the trail, and who knows? You might actually make a note or two in the notebook. You might just come up with some new invention and make a million dollars. That would really piss everyone off.

This is the second sample read taken from my new almost finished book entitled "100 Things Retired Guys Should Avoid - A Men's Guide To Surviving Life After Work" Thanks for reading and as always - suggestions, comments and chat are welcome.